Rambunctious Youth
My body and I have been fighting for years. My weight hovered around 105 pounds from my freshman year in high school through my freshman year in college. The Freshman Fifteen hit me hard when I was a sophomore. We shall call it the Sophomore Several. Rather than do something about my poor eating habits, I just kept eating. It was awesome, as long as I didn't look in the mirror and never went shopping for clothes. Sophomore year through senior year was a roller coaster going as low as 110 and as high as 145. The scale and my pants size were ever-changing *sigh.*
This is me when I was 17. I was probably somewhere between 100-105 pounds.
Enter Adulthood
Life during the school year is pretty much planned out for me. My day is dictated by a series of bells that tell me what I will be doing for the next hour, when I can go to the bathroom, and when I'm allowed to eat. For someone who is not very good at usefully managing time, this seemed like a good thing. So where's the problem? Well, I still haven't learned to take ownership of my eating habits. Instead of listening to my body and learning when I am/am not hungry, I am eating when I realize I'm not doing anything else. That's when I'm allowed to eat at work, so it just makes sense that if I have free time at home, I should eat.
This is me when I was in my early twenties. This was probably my 160-168 period.
A Short-lived Attempt
A few short years ago, I attempted to gain some control of my eating habits. I went from 168 pounds to about 145 pounds. I was making better choices and exercising on a regular basis. I wasn't exactly at my ideal weight, but I was definitely on the right track. I felt really good and was actively working toward a healthier me.
I was probably around 140-145 here.
The Unfortunate Period of Darkness
In the fall of 2008, I entered a deep depression. It was the result of many things. See this post and this post for more information. During this period of darkness, I dropped down to about 130 pounds. That is about my ideal weight. Unfortunately, I was too sad and miserable to enjoy it. I had absolutely no desire to eat. It was an awful time. When I started to feel better, I started to get my appetite back. I was so focused on feeling better that I completely ignored my eating habits. As a result, I lapsed back into the I'm-not-busy-so-I-should-be-eating state of mind.
This is during the Unfortunate Period of Darkness. I was probably around 130.
Making a Change
It is time to take my life and my body back. I am tired of living the life of an overweight woman. I know that we are supposed to be proud of our bodies and feel good about who we are. I know that people blame the media for distorting body image. Here's the thing, I can't rationalize being overweight. It's just not healthy. I am going to take my body back and live a healthy life that I can actually enjoy.
And...a good comparison. Then and now. I prefer the Then.
Why am I Telling You?
I know I'm not the only one who deals with weight issues. My plan is to eat right and exercise. I am not going to use diet pills or weight loss organizations. I am going to do this the old school way. There is so much weight loss propaganda on TV and the Internet. I want to put something out there that is real.
The Part I Can't Believe I'm Doing
CW: 175
Height: 5'6"
BMI:28.2
My body and I have been fighting for years. My weight hovered around 105 pounds from my freshman year in high school through my freshman year in college. The Freshman Fifteen hit me hard when I was a sophomore. We shall call it the Sophomore Several. Rather than do something about my poor eating habits, I just kept eating. It was awesome, as long as I didn't look in the mirror and never went shopping for clothes. Sophomore year through senior year was a roller coaster going as low as 110 and as high as 145. The scale and my pants size were ever-changing *sigh.*
This is me when I was 17. I was probably somewhere between 100-105 pounds.
Enter Adulthood
Life during the school year is pretty much planned out for me. My day is dictated by a series of bells that tell me what I will be doing for the next hour, when I can go to the bathroom, and when I'm allowed to eat. For someone who is not very good at usefully managing time, this seemed like a good thing. So where's the problem? Well, I still haven't learned to take ownership of my eating habits. Instead of listening to my body and learning when I am/am not hungry, I am eating when I realize I'm not doing anything else. That's when I'm allowed to eat at work, so it just makes sense that if I have free time at home, I should eat.
This is me when I was in my early twenties. This was probably my 160-168 period.
A Short-lived Attempt
A few short years ago, I attempted to gain some control of my eating habits. I went from 168 pounds to about 145 pounds. I was making better choices and exercising on a regular basis. I wasn't exactly at my ideal weight, but I was definitely on the right track. I felt really good and was actively working toward a healthier me.
I was probably around 140-145 here.
The Unfortunate Period of Darkness
In the fall of 2008, I entered a deep depression. It was the result of many things. See this post and this post for more information. During this period of darkness, I dropped down to about 130 pounds. That is about my ideal weight. Unfortunately, I was too sad and miserable to enjoy it. I had absolutely no desire to eat. It was an awful time. When I started to feel better, I started to get my appetite back. I was so focused on feeling better that I completely ignored my eating habits. As a result, I lapsed back into the I'm-not-busy-so-I-should-be-eating state of mind.
This is during the Unfortunate Period of Darkness. I was probably around 130.
Making a Change
It is time to take my life and my body back. I am tired of living the life of an overweight woman. I know that we are supposed to be proud of our bodies and feel good about who we are. I know that people blame the media for distorting body image. Here's the thing, I can't rationalize being overweight. It's just not healthy. I am going to take my body back and live a healthy life that I can actually enjoy.
And...a good comparison. Then and now. I prefer the Then.
Why am I Telling You?
I know I'm not the only one who deals with weight issues. My plan is to eat right and exercise. I am not going to use diet pills or weight loss organizations. I am going to do this the old school way. There is so much weight loss propaganda on TV and the Internet. I want to put something out there that is real.
The Part I Can't Believe I'm Doing
CW: 175
Height: 5'6"
BMI:28.2
